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AA

There are two things I do when I’m stressed. The first is one I think a lot of people do – bite my nails, but it goes to a  more severe and sometimes bloodier extent if I run out of nail and the stressor continues to exist. I remember I once had a patient ask me if I had a vitamin deficiency because of how frayed, bloody and tattered my nails and surrounding areas were.

The second is I eat. I eat until I can eat no more and then keep eating. I think this habit started early during exam time at school. The only acceptable circumstance for not being at the study table, according to my mother, was if I was eating, so I think it started as an early excuse to not study and gradually developed into a habit. As an adult, I don’t have my mother with her dangerously low whisper asking me why I’m not studying when I should (I wish I did though) but the eating habit remains. Today has been a particularly disastrous day so far. I’m trying to maintain acceptable fingertips, even letting my fingernails grow a little, so the brunt of my stress was placed on food consumption.  Its 4pm and since morning I’ve already eaten food amounting to at least 4 full meals! It also appears I can get more done when I’m stressed.

So in conclusion, I can’t win! I can either be fat and successful or thin and a failure. I hate adulthood!

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