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It’s a little early but Christmas is officially over right? I was planning on spending New Year’s eve in the Big Apple , maybe even attempt to see the ball drop, with close friends and the boyfriend. Instead, I will probably spending NYE with older Bengali people ( don’t get me wrong, they are very nice but I really wanted to be in New York), my friend is pissed because he hasn’t made any other plans and is now left high and dry and the boyfriend is going to get a cholecystectomy. All in all, I’ve learned not to count my chickens before they hatch so I’m making my resolutions early (5 days in advance to be exact) so I have enough time for my hypothetical eggs ( this totally does NOT remind me that I’m almost 32 with zero children….nope not at all *sigh*) to hatch before I can not only count my chickens but also adjust for congenital anomalies, genetic and metabolic disorders and such. I will have the exact number of healthy, normally functioning chickens dammit! Chickens that can give me more eggs and delicious chicken nuggets. So here we go :

1) Lose weight : This is a mandatory number 1 every year for everyone. Nuff said.

2) Be well on the way to becoming a doctor and/or researcher in this country, where 5 years of Med School and 2 years of work experience in a foreign country means squat. That’s right I have to start from the bottom again. Research is probably a better option anyway.

3) Get engaged at least. When I was a hot-blooded rebellious teenager being raised in third world conservative Asian country, I made up my mind NEVER to get married or have children. I think this was more because, to me, a married woman was portrayed as someone cooking and caring for family all day, expected to sacrifice her life and happiness for her husband and children. That didn’t sit well with me but the first time I was lucky enough to attend a childbirth (during my Gyn-Obs placement), I couldn’t take my eyes off the new born or get over the miracle I had just witnessed and something changed in me. I fought with what I can only describe as a genetic instinct to have and care for children, biological or otherwise. As I grew older and began to become more and more comfortable with myself as an individual, I began to realize these were things that I genuinely wanted not just because it was expected of me. Finding someone, who feels like the right guy at last,  has only bolstered that need. I will stop now before this ends up being a 2000 word post, 1500 of which is about Gary.

4)Become a Zumba instructor. I’ve been wanting this for soooo long! This year it must happen!

5) Run a 5K and actually run the whole race this time!

……………………..and last but not least…………..

6) Be more selfish : I know this is strange because usually people resolve to be the opposite but it’s not a negative…at least not as it pertains to me. I have lead my life for too long listening to and paying heed to how it affects the people I care for aka my family. My whole choice of career was based on the fact that my dad felt he had no reason to live if his straight A first born didn’t become a doctor. Not a single word in the previous sentence was an exaggeration. Maybe it’s my upbringing or nature or a combination of both but I’ve always made major life decisions with heavy involvement and usually consent of the ‘elders’. All that did is put me in a place in life where I feel there is nothing I want or nothing in my life that is my own. But that has to change. Enough is enough. It might hurt people, lead to non-stop emotional blackmail (I have been told I need to seriously look into and agree to an arranged marriage because my father is getting old and this is just very mild emotional blackmail), a good amount of crying and maybe even death or suicide threats I dunno, but I am the only person who can make myself happy. And like every other normal inhabitant of the planet Earth, I want to be happy and not feel like such a f***ing doormat all the f***ing time!

It was fun venting but it was even more fun putting all this in writing. I hope everyone has a happy, fruitful and fun-filled 2015! Happy New Year all you lovely people! Let the egg-warming begin!