I opened this WordPress account and waited months for inspiration to come. But something is definitely broken in my head. In desperation, I started reading other blogs and realized I didn’t have to write fiction. I could write anything. But what would that anything be?
My mind had been wired to make sure everything was always perfect – no room for error so everything I wrote had to have an introduction, body and conclusion. Every sentence had to be perfectly worded and placed. Every time I wrote something I revised, re-revised then re-re-revised until I had it almost memorized. Still I wasn’t happy. It was not perfect. Nothing was perfect. This world is not perfect. Why isn’t this world perfect? Why does my head feel like it’s about to explode?
My head feels like it’s about to explode because I was trying to do with my personal blog what I did with professional or academic papers – trying to make it perfect. It doesn’t have to be perfect. What makes this personal is my own set of imperfections – sort of my own brand. And what makes it worth having is being able to put thoughts here that are otherwise hard and sometimes impossible to express. They don’t have to be perfect. And so I started writing this piece. No specific thought. No introduction, body or conclusion, just a barrage of sentences about why blogging is hard for me. Also I’m hoping writing randomly without care will help get my imagination back. I really really hope.